You can’t burn out, if you are not on fire.

Ein teuflischer Engel. Gefangen zwischen Himmel und Hölle.
Nichts macht mehr Sinn als die Sinnlosigkeit.
Schwerelos mit bleiernden Füßen im Nichts.
Humpelnd, rennend, taumelnd, fliegend.
Hechelnd nach Wahrhaftigkeit.
Worte nichtssagender als Vergangenheit und Zukunft.
Schreiend wartend auf die Stille.
Begraben im eigenen Ich.

 

 

As I Began to Love Myself

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY.”

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
As I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it,
and even though this person was me.
Today I call it “RESPECT.”

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “Maturity,”

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE.”

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.
Today I call it “SIMPLICITY.”

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health— food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF,”

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is “MODESTY.”

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future.
Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.
Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT,”

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick.
But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART.”

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others.
Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.
Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!

(Charlie Chaplin on his 70th Birthday)

bildnis

die farben sind anders. von rosa und pink keine spur.
überraschend. kein malen nach zahlen.
pinsel holt aus. klekse, kleine davon hier und da. tupfer.
wie von selbst. linien, die verbinden. stop, pinsel, stop.

farbe kippt, schwemmt sanft und wellig über papier.
der moment deckt weiße unsicherheit ab und gibt ihr ein neues gefühl.
rot und körperwarm. heiß, bleib hier!
hüll mich ein. in dir. nicht woanders sein. unendlicher moment. bleib.

unendlich malt weiter. wird bedrohlich. im schatten lauert tristesse.
weg, geh weg! schwarz überläuft das bild.
unverwischbar. wachsend, alle farbe verschluckend.
angst saugt auf. schwamm. es geht nicht weg. hör auf! wischen. hör auf!

schritte laufen zurück. distanz sieht mehr. schwarz wird weniger.
herzklopfen macht blind. nur fühlen hilft sehen.
wille erlöst verstand. schrei! sprache entmachtet.
kamel lauf. löwe brüll. kind mal unser bild.